Heart-To-Heart Conversations with Real Brides
A white binder sits on our bookshelves upstairs. It is full of my wedding ideas, all organized into categories. I lived by the binder and my Excel spreadsheet budget. My closest girlfriends lived states away and I definitely felt on my own when it came to planning my wedding.
Today, we have Pinterest and apps galore. Even so, when it's your first time planning a wedding, all of the information out there can be overwhelming. Where do you even start?
I've invited some couples to share their advice with you. A little chat with a real bride who has been there. Each installment discusses a topic related to the advice of the experienced couple.
Grab a coffee, get cozy, and let's have a heart-to-heart.
-- None of the images depict the bride giving today's advice --
My advice is to discuss with your parents and families their expectations for your wedding and your own expectations and come to an agreement before the wedding!
Nothing is worse then a family member causing a scene because they learned that you want a private first look instead of a public one. Don't leave the stress for your wedding day, make your expectations known to your family and bridal party in advance!
On your wedding day remind yourself that so long as you get married that the day was successful and let the rest go!
The role of parents in the modern wedding is easily complicated.
Many couples are funding their own nuptials and many have been living independently for years, even a decade.
Our bride brings up a key point - communicating expectations.
Open, gentle, honest communication from both sets of parents, the bride, and the groom can help navigate the tricky waters in the planning process. Weddings have evolved. Many parents have never heard of a "first look". Remember to stop and explain the heart behind any non-traditional choices. Even if you have to schedule a sit-down on the calendar. Don't let the tension mount.
Side Bar: Ben and I live by Google Calendar. We sync our calendars and add people who need to be a part of our weekly lives so that we all stay on the same page.
Fast forward your life about 10 years, what will matter most to you? Those are the essentials that are worth fighting for. P.S. It isn't the tablecloth pattern.
No, like, really listen. Listen past the demands and into the heart of the request. Even take a day to think about it before dismissing ideas.
Unfortunately, not all families will get along. There is drama with hurt feelings, blended families, and numerous complications. Make sure that you are not just giving in to the loudest critic at the expense of another parent. Ask an appropriate person to mediate when necessary (like an aunt, uncle, grandparent, or pastor).
Remember, you are on the same team. This is the beginning of a lifetime of give and take as you form your own family. These will be the grandparents of your little ones, should you choose to be parents. Disagree with kindness, love with boundaries, and give them an extra hug. They changed those dirty diapers.