Ben and I were countries apart during our engagement. He was in Ontario establishing his career there, while I just returned from China. Since I would be moving in just six months, I worked as a long term substitute teacher here, in central Florida.
Ben bought a dedicated U.S. phone line for our long, late night conversations. We would write to each other daily, enough e-mails to fill a book.
We had our final time together a few days after New Year's, 20 days before the wedding.
The weeks leading up to our time together, I created a little notebook of letters for him. I called it "The Twenty Days of Wedding". It is super cheesy, I know. It was full of all that mushy romance that is only really wonderful coming from your significant other. My love language is quality time, so that countdown was close to my heart.
No matter your love language, quality time is a critical part of any relationship. Your wedding day is no exception. Your guests are a very important part of your day, but the two of you are the most important.
Remember throughout your planning, you are starting a marriage, not just hosting a wedding ceremony.
This leads us to the third installment of "Dear Newlyweds" where we get a chance to hear the wisdom of couples recently wed. Today's advice is all about prioritizing your time together on the wedding day.
Make time for just the two of you the day of your wedding. The day goes in a blink of an eye, really soak it all in. A sweetheart table really helped us get to spend time together, sit back and watch everyone enjoy the night :)
- Lisa & Perry
I love when my couples make time for each other on their wedding day. Whether it's a quick getaway for sunset portraits, a sweetheart table for the two of them, or even a quick snack break before the reception. The day is such a blur and it's important to touch base with each other during the day. Even if it's only a 15 minute time squeezed in together.
Take time for each other before the wedding as well. During your planning process, find ways to invest in each other. Establish routines that can last throughout your marriage.
Speaking as the couple with four children, we can tell you that it just gets trickier finding that time. But, we do. We have weekly Friday night date nights at home. We put away work, order in, and watch a movie together. At least once a month we have a legit date where we go out together. Some months, if we have to travel for work, we join the other person. We find our most productive conversations are always on trips.
Sometimes we marginalize those who mean the most to us. We feel they will understand. Maybe they will. But, every time you say "yes" to someone else you say "no" to that special person in your life. Too many "no's" quickly creates conflict and unhealthy distance.
For those of you in long distance relationships. I feel you. Maximize your time when you are together and embrace technology that can help bring us closer when the miles separate.
Now, pause that wedding planning and go ask that hot Fiancé out on a date.